jessicarabbit89

didn't get the job.

have no idea what I'm going to do.

am pretty much going to be on the street.

probably won't be posting for a while considering ^.

wish I was dead.

so I just went to the interview. I think it went rather well, actually. He said he's making his hiring decision this afternoon, so I'll hear back from him today. Apparently, he's only interviewing 4 people, and he was very happy to hear from me because my resume really stood out.

Cross your fingers for me!

In other news: Bryce took down the fort a few days ago, but we're going to build it back up tonight. :D

Peace.

So I'm back at square one on the job front. I guess I didn't get the job at CSL because they still haven't called back. :( And if they haven't called back in more than a week, I guess they aren't calling back.

And I can't do that 'management' job I was offered for various reasons.

I have another interview tomorrow at noon for another office position, just front desk customer service type thing. I really, REALLY need to get it.

Bryce wants me to be out by next week, because he's going to be gone over spring break and apparently I'm not a big girl and can't stay by myself. I have no idea what I'm going to do or where I'm going to go. I don't have any other friends that can let me stay with them. I have literally nowhere to go. :( That's why I'm hoping against hope I can get this job, because if I get it I might be able to convince him to let me stay until I get a paycheck.

F. My. Life.

Ugh.

Well, unfortunately, I don't have a phone anymore. But when I did, boy howdy. I would text all day, every day, to everyone. It was ridiculous, really. Usually it's just idle chitchat, but sometimes (during the weekends, holler! hehehe) it was to make plans. This makes me miss my phone. I was trying very hard to get on Texts From Last Night, but I'm just not wild enough, I guess. The fact that I'm not a big drinker probably contributes to this. :P

for the well-wishing, everyone. :) I doo feel somewhat better today.

I WAS feeling a lot better until I went outside and it was RAINING. I hate this damn rain. I moved to Arizona to get AWAY from rain.

My throat hurts less, but I still have a bit of a headache and a cough. My nose was awfully sniffly earlier, too, but that went away once I got out of the cold.

I Nyquil'd myself to sleep last night, it was nice. Nyquil is a trip, lemme tell ya. :P South Park came on right after I took it, and I was laughing so hard I think I woke the whole hall.

Today was sort of interesting, I guess. I woke up, had some hot chocolate, called Greg, had lunch with Greg, and tried to go donate plasma. I was only at 109lbs today, though, and you have to be 110. :( I'll try again tomorrow.

Greg and I are going to see Avenue Q this weekend! It's at Gammage (as a matter of fact, there should be a show starting in about 30 mins), and I'm super excited. I've seen it once before, at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts, and it was incredible! Greg hasn't seen it, which is why I'm so eager to go. I know he's going to love it to bits, just like I do.

I'm being patient with him. I know he still loves me, but he's just a young guy that wants to party and live it up. Understandable. I know that when he opens his eyes and joins the real world, we'll be happy together.

Peace.

I am very sick. Fever, headache, sore throat, coughing, sniffles. Thanks a lot, Greg. >.<

I want to go get some medicine, but it's very cold outside. :(

I feel like I might die.

Peace.

That would have to be Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Don't get me wrong, I love ALL the Harry Potter books, but Goblet of Fire is definitely my favorite. I've read it more times than I care to remember.

I don't necessarily discover anything new each time, but I love it to bits.


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In other news, I'm definitely sick. Coughing, sore throat, runny nose, sneezing. Ugh.

Peace.

was supposed to be epic and awesome. Greg and I made plans to see the midnight premier of Alice In Wonderland, as I said. Well, of course he is an idiot and ruined the plans.

First, the day before (Wednesday), he told me that his mom would let him drive to go to the midnight premier. I asked him specifically if it would be okay and he said "yeah". So, I went with it.

I called him up yesterday to finalize plans, and he said that he'd probably have to sneak out to go. After he'd already told me it would be okay! Understandably, I was annoyed. But, that part of the plan worked out in the end. (I do NOT condone him sneaking out and I told him that. Over and over, I told him. "What if you get pulled over?" "What if your mom catches you?" etc.)

So, since he had to wait for his mom to fall asleep, we didn't get to the theatre until about 11:30, so of course the 3D midnight show is sold out. We decided it wasn't worth watching it without the 3D, so we left.

We came back to my place, and he parked in the parking lot of a store right next to my dorm. He usually parks there when he comes over, so this is routine. We came upstairs and watched TV for a while, and eventually Greg needed to get  going. He left, and a few minutes later I got a phone call. It was Greg.

His car got towed. Turns out that store didn't want people parking there anymore. He had to get home and it was 3am, so we didn't know anyone with a car that was awake. He was going to have to walk al the way to the tow place, a good 5 and a half miles away (which is a lot longer than it sounds when you're walking).

Well, I couldn't let him walk all alone, as it was partially my fault that his car got towed (he was visiting me, after all). So I got some warm clothes on and went downstairs, and I walked with him all the way to the tow place. I knew that I would want company if it was me. We walked for a solid 2 hours before we finally got there. We ended up stopping at an IHOP for some pancakes on the way. It was freezing. It was quite an adventure.

He barely made it home on time, and I do mean barely, and had to hastily wipe away the tow number from his windshield.

We're both sick now (he was already sick, he gave it to me I think), and I'm crazy sore from all the walking.

Oh, the things I do for that boy. If that's not love, I don't know what is. I wish he could see it.

Peace.

was so perfect today. Absolutely wonderful! Clear and sunny, so it was kind of warm, but breezy, so it wasn't crazy hot. I layed out in the sun twice today, once by myself at MY pool and once with Natasha at HER pool. I'm a little sunburned, but I don't mind because the weather was so nice.

I'm so going to the midnight showing of Alice In Wonderland, who's with me?! I'm stoked, I can't wait. I love Tim Burton. I really can't stand his casting choice in Anne Hathaway, though. I don't like her, I don't know why. And she looks ridiculous with those dark eyebrows under that white wig. He could have at least cast a blonde in that role. Or safely bleached her eyebrows (which IS possible).
I keep getting a weird feeling about this movie though, like I'm not going to like it. First of all, I recently found out it's supposed to be a SEQUEL to the first one. That's all well and good, but why did you call it Alice In Wonderland? Why didn't you call it Alice In Wonderland 2? You had me all excited for a REMAKE and you're telling me it's not one. And I don't like how the Mad Hatter is SO MUCH in the foreground. I mean, in almost all of the adverts, the Mad Hatter is front and center, he's getting more screentime than Alice! I mean, I realize it's Johnny Depp and he's famous and everything but come on. The Mad Hatter is not a central character.

I have a weird little tan line on my arm from where I had my hair tie around my wrist this afternoon, and I think you can see the edges of where my sunglasses were, haha. I'm actually still wearing my swimsuit under my clothes.

It's freezing in this computer lab, I don't understand why they keep it so cold. But that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, I don't really have anything important to talk about. Other than the fact that I feel like I'm just going in circles with Greg and it's driving me nuts. I wish I could break away from him but something keeps drawing me back. >.<

Peace.

I really hate myself for yesterday. Like, a lot. I wouldn't, if Greg (my ex) would tell me whether or not we're donating today. I think he's in his AA meeting, though.

Yeah, you read that correctly. The ex I can't seem to keep my hands off of is in AA. He's 19. He was cour-ordered to go because he got a DUI a few months ago (which he still won't tell me the full story of).

He said he's sorry about the way he treated me and that he feels terrible about it every day. But, I have no idea whether he means it or not. He's a great liar. And (warning, TMI ahead) he's also really awesome in bed. On the list of Greg Pros and Cons, that counts for at least 3 on the Pros side. ;)

I really don't know about all of this. Maybe inviting him over to see The Fort was a bad idea. I'm not gonna lie: secretly, what happened is exactly what I wanted to happen. But, of course, now I'm kind of regretting it. It won't be so bad if he continues to talk to me. I like being friends with him. But, if he decides to be immature (which is the most likely option) and stop talking to me, it's really going to drive me crazy.

A small part of me wishes that we could get back together. But, the rest of me knows that that would be really fucking stupid, because I can't trust him as far as I can throw him.

He talked about how much he misses me, and us, and his old life before the shit hit the fan. (That's a story for another day, suffice to say some shit went down and now he lives back home with his mom.) He said he's trying to work on himself. But, other things he said kind of contradict that, so I'm not sure he really means it. I'd give anything to know what he really thinks/feels.

Oh, he just texted me back, he wants to donate with me. That's a good sign. :) (When I say donate, I mean donate plasma at CSL, they give you money for your blood plasma, if I ge the job there, though, I won't be allowed to anymore.)

Even after all the shit he's put me through, and how he's treated me, and everything else that's happened between us, he's still my best friend, and the best lover I've ever had, and I'm still head-over-heels about him. Maybe we can't be together, but I still want him to be in my life.

I guess I'll figure this out as I go.

Peace.